1.People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues. >>> funny quotes about life lessons for you.
2.Any argument carried far enough will end up in semantics.

3.Sanity and insanity overlap a fine gray line.

4.Afternoon: that part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning.
>>> funny quotes and sayings about life   to have a best day.
5.A penny saved has not been spent.

6.Business truth: The usefulness of any meeting is in inverse proportion to the attendance.

7.The "think positive" leader tends to listen to his subordinate's premonitions only during the postmortems.>>> short funny quotes about life everyday for you.

8.It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.

9.They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense

10.There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything, both ways save us from thinking.

11.The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.
  
12.The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work

13.It's a good apartment because they allow pets. I have a Shetland pony named Nikkie. Last summer Nikkie was involved in a bizarre electrolysis accident. All her hair was removed except for her tail. Now I rent her out to Hare Krishna family picnics.

14.It just doesn't get any Beta than this.

15.Don't do today that which can be put off till tomorrow

 16.Blutarsky's Axiom: Nothing is impossible for the man who will not listen to reason.

17.A good scapegoat is hard to find.

18.It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something from the floor while you get up.

19.A flying particle will always seek the nearest eye.

20.We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.